Screenplay in HTML

In and Out 2004

Sound of footsteps down a hallway as we FADE UP on a door. It opens and STANLEY, a slightly balding young man, hesitantly looks in. From his POV, we can see part of an OFFICE -- virtually featureless, except for a DESK, CHAIR and WASTEBASKET. The ceiling is really high with BUZZING FLOURESCENT LIGHTS. There is also a single small, grated WINDOW with a shaft of light that doesn’t reach the ground. The overall feel is sterile and unwelcoming.

Back to STAN, who is holding stacks of paper, notably a COGCORP EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK, various BENEFITS FORMS and TAX FORMS. Clearly his first day on the job. As he steps in, we hear a COUGH from O.S. He turns, startled.

We see another DESK facing Stan’s desk, identical to the first in every way. Behind the other desk are a row of EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH frames featuring a man with a dour expression. Completely bald, he looks like an old version of Stanley. Sitting behind this desk is a MAN reading a NEWSPAPER; he is completely obscured by the paper so we can’t see him, and he does not look up.

STAN pulls out his CHAIR, and it makes a huge SQUEAK that reverberates in the close room (think Men in Black test scene). He looks up at the other desk, but the other man doesn’t look around the paper; maybe hear a derisive snort. He sits down at his desk, and awkwardly looks it over. The desk has an IN BOX and an OUT BOX and an old-fashioned CALCULATOR, the kind with large buttons and a big spool of paper for printing. Other than the In and Out trays and the calculator, there is nothing.

Clock: 8:59 am. Stan clears his throat, trying to make contact w/the man. He does it again. The man finally lowers the paper – it is OLIVER, the man from the photos. He is wearing the exact same expression as in the photos (as we see from a few choice photos over his shoulder.) He briefly levels this expression at Stan, then carefully folds up his newspaper and lays it aside. He then sits up and folds his hands together, staring straight ahead through Stan. Stan looks discomfited. There is an uncomfortable silence, punctuated only by the ticking of the clock. We push in on the clock as…

Click. It turns over to 9:00 am. Instantly, there is a horrible klaxon sound. Stan is startled; Ollie has been expecting it and doesn’t flinch. Industrial sounds from above, and the whirr of machinery. Stan looks up, surprised to see large TUBES descending from the ceiling. There are four tubes in all; two come to rest suspended over Stan’s desk, two over Ollie’s, lined up perfectly over their respective In and Out boxes.

Metallic ominous GURGLING SOUND, and PAPER is disgorged into in box of STAN. He doesn’t know what to do with it. We see a shot of it, it’s a nightmare of legalese and arrows pointing from various parts of it back to other parts with a bunch of numbers and diagrams.

While he’s trying to figure it out, GURGLING FX again as paper drops into OLLIE’s box. Only it doesn’t even get there, as Ollie grabs it in the air, anticipating it from long years of practice. He processes it matter-of-factly: He scans down the paper, performs some quick motions on a calculator, his fingers flying expertly over the keys, paper spilling out with calculations. He doesn’t actually mark the paper itself. When he’s done, he nods, tears off the calculator strip and puts it in a wastebasket next to the desk. He puts the paper in the out box, Instantly, with SUCKING SOUND, the paper goes flying up the tube.

This entire process takes a matter of seconds as Stan watches the performance with amazement. He looks discouragingly back at his original paper in his hands. Another piece of paper drops into his box. He starts punching the calculator w/some desperation.

:net 1:30 to 1:45

Pan over to clock on wall: it’s about 9:05 am. Dissolve to clock reading 10:28 am. Pan back over to the OLLIE: his boxes are both empty, his wastebasket is about half-full of calculator receipts. Now STAN: his in box is not quite overflowing, but getting close. There are two receipts in his wastebasket. He looks disheveled, he is working the calculator.
The pace is much faster now. Stan is getting totally overwhelmed. His palms have gotten sweaty, and as he’s pounding the calculator keys his pen slips from his hand and lands in the Out box. He reaches for it, but before he can grab it it gets sucked up the tube.

There is a beat, where Stan and Ollie look at each other.

Then with a gurgle, his pen lands in Ollie’s in box.

Ollie looks at it with disdain. Stan is nonplussed, then reaches out to Ollie, asking for the pen back.

Ollie doesn’t give back [pen], but just sets it aside.

Stan is annoyed. Experimentally, he tears off a piece of his calculator paper and put it in his out box. It gets sucked up, lands in Ollie’s in box. Ollie barely misses a beat as he tosses it in the wastebasket, but he quickens his pace (HOW, if he never accumulates work?). Paper starts coming faster into Stan’s in box.

Stan, looking straight at Ollie, puts a piece of paper into the Outbox deliberately without looking at it. For the first time, there is more than one piece of paper in Ollie’s in box. Camera close-up accentuates this fact. Ollie sees it, and looks up at Stan with fear and loathing.

Stan puts every new piece of paper into the Outbox without looking. Paper starts to pile up in Ollie’s in box.
Ollie looks up, sees that Stan is doing this, and he stops his work. A pile accumulates in his Inbox. They lock eyes. Then in one motion, Ollie throws it all in his Outbox. It dumps out all over Stan’s desk and overflows on the floor.

Stan is horrified, starts trying to grab all the spare pieces of paper off the floor. Ollie has snapped – he grabs his wastebasket full of receipts and dumps it in his outbox. They add to the tide of paper coming out of Stan’s tube.

Stan grabs his out tube and holds it over his calculator. All the printout paper spools quickly off and goes up the tube, starts belching out on Ollie’s side.

Ollie grabs his In tube like a bazooka and aims it at Stan, paper is spitting out at him; in self-defense, Stan grabs his Out tube and slaps it against Ollie’s In tube, sealing it off.
Sound effect: massive rumbling, building up to something cataclysmal. Both of them look over at the one remaining In tube, ominously roaring and vibrating; Ollie grabs at it while Stan goes for the Out tube; they dramatically connect them.

Everything stops for a minute. The two men look at each other, then look at the tubes, chugging away. Then Ollie smiles, picks up his calculator, and dramatically drops it in his wastebasket.

Stan registers this, then a smile of understanding spreads across his face. He does the same with his calculator. Cut to them at the door; Stan opens it and gestures for Ollie to go through; he nods his thanks and does. Stan goes through and shuts the door. Fade to black.

Fade up on calendar; it now has a photo of a pushpin and July, indicates that the date is later than it was. We see the tubes are still connected and humming away, but cobwebs are all over them, the office is dusty and unused. On the wall over Stan’s desk is a new photo: Employees of the Month, featuring both men smiling and wearing sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts.